Reyna's 5 Steps To Giving Up & Moving On
by readingqueen811
Summary: It's surprising how much your feelings can change in eight months. Yet, he's more surprised that you are, because he did'nt see the transformation.


**Giving up doesn't always mean you're weak. Sometimes it just means you're strong enough to let go.**

**-Author Unknown**

**Maybe a part of loving is learning to let go.**

**-The Wonder Years**

**It was strange, really. A couple months ago, I had thought I couldn't live without him. Apparently, I could.**

**-Gabrielle Zevin, Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac**

You're completely shocked when they get off. You thought you'd start crying or attacking someone, or worse not showing emotion. Instead, the girl gives you a friendly smile and hug. It's a lot harder to hate someone when they obviously don't hate you.

He smiles and hugs you too. The butterflies you were expecting do not come. Then the blonde steps off. She's exactly how he'd described her. She runs into his arms. You sigh at their Public Display of Affection, but don't make any move to stop it. The blonde represents everything you were two months ago. Everything you were before time and fighting toughened you. You're not a Greek after all, you're a Roman. And Romans move on.

Moving on isn't necessarily hating him and everything about him. In your mind, it's five simple steps:

Step #1: Tears:

Sure, there are always tears. Tears that come at night when you're sleeping, tears in a public place, tears over the phone; it really depends on who you are. The tears help wash away the longing. They are the first step to moving on. They are what came that night he disappeared; they are what triggered the anger after he was not found after a month. They are the things you tried to hide during Senate Meetings. There are _always_ tears.

Step #2: Anger/Denial:

This stage came in early January. Your fighting improved tremendously, but unfortunately also sent at least half of the 3rd cohort to the infirmary. Anger/Denial is when you know anything will trigger your hate, but you deny it. You hated Jason for disappearing, you hated Octavian for not finding him, and you hated the questers for failing to even find a clue as to where he'd gone. You hated yourself for not doing anything about it. But it was improper to have the praetor lose her cool over something like this. So the anger/denial was your façade.

Step #3: Glassy Eyes:

This is a step most people didn't recognize, but you did. It was a trick you'd learned from Circe. The girls would always get like this after their boyfriend/father/brother/uncle/friend was turned into a guinea pig. This is the step where you just feel like you can't do anything, everything is in a trance. Your glassy eyes help you float through the day like a ghost. A shell of a person is what you really are; a statue, a rock, a doll. A porcelain doll, with dark braided hair and glassy eyes who doesn't know what to do. You won't call this step weakness, because Romans do not show weakness.

Step #4: Confused Longing:

This part started when Perseus arrived. He reminded you so much of Jason that it hurt. Except for the fact that he was rebellious, misbehaving, dark haired, had power over water, and was uncomfortable with leading. He was just not perfect enough. The longing was understandable, but late. Why had it come so late? This step should really be called hollow longing. This is the part where jealousy seems to consume you, when really you're consuming jealousy because you're hollow inside. You were completely filled with this until you saw your sister again, who made you understand step #5.

Step #5: Realizing the Truth:

This part is the part where we left off. It's where the confusion stops. Where you realize the tears of jealousy, longing, hate, and fragility have watered the seeds that will keep you moving forward. So you smile back to his new girl's surprise, because you've just completed step 5 of moving on.

When the blonde is introduced to you and you find out that her name is Annabeth, you immediately understand why she didn't move on. It was because she didn't have to. She had two months less of waiting than you, and to top it off, he remembered her because of some Greek curse/blessing that he'd had before he crossed the Little Tiber. You smile and tell her that you'd like to get to know her better. And it's not because you're jealous of her, or you want to know her secret for persevering, it's because she really seems like a nice person, and a good training partner.

Jason is just as confused as you first were at your sudden change of heart. So you just tell him that some things have changed since he'd left. And that you can see some things have changed for him too. So you both smile and you accompany the seven to dinner, knowing that this change was for the better.

**Letting go means realizing that some people are part of your history, but not a part of your destiny.**

**-Steve Maraboli**

_Near, far_

_Wherever you are_

_I believe that the heart does go on_

_Once more_

_You open the door_

_And you're here in my heart and_

_My heart will go on and on_

_-My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion_

_I thought of this story for 2 reasons. #1: I liked this guy for the longest time and then he told me that he liked one of my friends, strangely I took it well and now my feelings for him are disintegrating in front of me. #2: A senior talked at our school-wide assembly about quitting and how without him quitting something he wouldn't have found something else that he was really good at. Keep moving on and moving forward. –readingqueen811._


End file.
